


Snorting Sugarcane

by orphan_account



Category: Game Grumps, Steven Universe (Cartoon), crystal grumps - Fandom
Genre: Dismemberment, Drabbles, Egobang - Freeform, F/M, Gems, Gym AU, M/M, Septiplier - Freeform, anything i want, gym hotties, mark can lift bro, one shots n shit, sick day, yandereplier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-28
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-05-07 07:50:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5448914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(These are just dabbles of grump or septiplier ideas that I wanted to write out but haven't any time or ideas to make a story. I'll take requests for any grump or septiplier ideas of course. If you want more of a short story, just ask.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Small Cracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the midst of a fight, Dan get's his gem cracked and the gems must get creative for fixing it.
> 
> (Crystal Grumps AU with some Egobang)

Each gem cornered the corrupted creature, weapons drawn. The rain drizzled with a light sprinkle, well on it’s way into a downpour. “Kevin stay out of the way.” Barry mumbled, sneaking a glance towards the gem on his right. “Suzy, flank from the left, Ross go for the right, Arin play range.” He shouted strategy for each gem. “Dan and Brian, play defense.” The orange gem summoned his shield.

Brian shot dagger like glares at Barry, folding both arms tight over his chest. He knew why he was getting the sidebar this time, must be over the whole NSP fusion madness that went on last week. Needless to say, Brian wasn’t thrilled to be defense. He was only on his cursed planet because he wanted to find his old ninja friend. Maybe in a way it was relieving to be away from the tight grip of homeworld… He shook it off and glanced over to see Suzy run in swinging from the left, Ross following up on the left. Brian scanned the gem, looking for some sort of weakness, it’d be better to find one first.

He smirked underneath the mask after spotting the spot on it’s back, stepping forward and summoning stars to take it down. It was clumsy and he couldn’t believe it, but he hadn’t noticed one of the creature’s claws swipe at him. “Brian!” Was the only thing he’d heard until he was pushed into the sand, looking up to hear a loud cracking noise.

No. No, no, no. He couldn’t have let that happen, it couldn’t have been his fault. The ninja was quick to his feet, running to his friends aid. In the moments of surprise, Suzy poofed the gem and bubbled it.

Arin and Brian were the first to help Dan up, pure worry from both of them. “He’s not, he’s…” Arin stopped in his tracks, spotting the large cracks in the ruby red gem.

“Dan, can you speak? What’s wrong? Please talk to us.” The pink gem begged for answers, helping him walk forward.

Dan paused, opening his mouth and trying to speak up. Nothing came out, he couldn’t say anything. He wasn’t too sure who was around him besides Arin, everything was black.

He looked up at the sound of another voice, recalling it must be Barry. “It’s pretty bad… We should get him healed soon before the cracks get worse.” He suggested, arising panic in the singer. Was he going to shatter? How bad was the crack? Was Brian okay? He coughed, throat feeling as dry as a desert.

“Let’s just… Help him inside.” Arin whispered, letting Dan support himself on him. “You’ll be okay Dan, promise.” He attempted to comfort him, pure worry in his voice. This was his best friend, all that he has now.. If Dan shattered-no, he wasn’t letting this gem shatter.

Once everything had settled, the room was quiet with a certain sadness. Even Ross didn’t have some sort of clever quip. Dan could actually die, there was no joking on the matter. They’ve joked about being poofed but no one considered anyone being cracked.

Like a brick, it hit Arin. He bolted up, filled with a certain determination. “W-what about Jon’s fountain!” His voice cracked, fists clenched as he looked around the room for a general response. “I mean, I know it’s been a long time but it’s better than waiting for it to get worse.”

Suzy nodded slowly, hope rising. “Actually Arin… That could be a good idea.. If we can get Dan there safely, we could see if it still works.” She smiled, standing up. Arin’s determination seemed almost infectious at this point.

The warp there almost felt like an eternity, but everyone made it in one piece luckily. Jon’s fountain was a well known healing place for his crystal gems back in it’s day, blooming with the life of blue roses actually. Now the one shining towers could use a good wash and the roses have grown quite out of hand.

“Alright, Arin can you stay here with Dan while we see if we can turn the water on.” Barry suggested, starting to push his way through the vines with his shield.

The two gems sat on the edge of the fountain awaiting the others to return. Dan snuck a glance up towards the bright blue sky, small sigh escaping his lips. ‘When will they return?’ he thought to himself, fiddling with his thumbs nervously.

Arin cleared his throat, flipping his blonde streak out of his eyesight and turning away from his friend. “Hey Dan, I uh. I know you can’t reply but I’m sorry it wasn’t me.” 

‘Arin… No, I’d never want to see you crack your gem.’ Dan thought to himself, glancing towards the direction of Arin’s voice. ‘Please… I-’ He snapped out of it, glancing down towards his gem resting on his stomach. He watched the crack spread, arising more panic.

“Whoa, whoa. Hey, calm down. I’ll-I’ll do something!” Arin spoke up, resting his hand on Dan’s shoulder. “I-I can…” He bit his bottom lip, growing tense. “Goddamn it, who am I kidding? I wasn’t like Jon, if he was still here you’d be okay. You wouldn’t be cracking and I wouldn’t be so fucking useless!” Tears of his own welled up. He hadn’t noticed Dan’s attention on him until the gem stepped forward and fell forwards onto him. The two fell backwards into the fountain, leaving them both flustered. “D-Dan… I’m so fucking sorry this happened.” He whispered.

“Can I tell you something important? In case I, I don’t get to later.” Arin suggested, face warm.

Dan nodded and awaited the response. ‘Tell me Arin.’ He thought, desperate to make the other gem feel better.

“I th-ink I’m in love with you.” The pink gem mumbled, voice cracking half way through. Before Dan could make any sort of gesture, let alone think that through, the large statue over the fountain poured water over the two. Both gem’s eyes widened, looking back at each other as the cracks healed.

They both swam to the top to see the other gems with large smiles. The singer grinned, glancing at his best friend. “Hey Arin, I love you two.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I wrote this simply because it popped into my head. *Le shrug* If you have any ideas or requests for any grumps AU, shipping, etc you want me to write then comment. I won't mind any ideas.


	2. “I-uh-hi, You’re Hot!”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is a small green haired guy looking for a lady in his life, today he tries the gym and finally sees the woman of his dreams lifting weights! There's only one problem, he soon learns this is no chick but is rather a buff man... Yet he is still very attracted.
> 
> (Septiplier, Gym Hottie Au)

With a sigh, Jack bit his lip and fidgeted with his hoodie strings. How is it all the women here are either as dull as bricks or have a boyfriend? It wasn’t fair, hasn’t anyone heard of sharing is caring? ‘God I must sound t’ biggest player in the whole fookin’ world.’ He thought to himself, crossing his arms as he thought.

A few grunts and huffs attracted his attention once more. It came from the back of the gym but the most Jack could make out was short strawberry red hair. “Damn I should get some glasses.” He mumbled under his breath before staggering over. ‘Don’t look like a rapist or kidnapper Jack, don’t make her think yer a douche.’ He constantly scolded himself as he stepped towards ‘her’.

When the other was within his sightline, he tensed. The strawberry redhead stood up and took a giant gulp of their red water bottle, and slipped off HIS shirt. ‘Shit balls, it’s a guy.’ Jack tensed. ‘Fook why am I still very, maybe even more attracted to him?!’ He panicked.

Stealing him away from his panic was the red head, raising a brow and set down the weight he had been busy using. ”So, greenie, are you uh… Did you want to talk to me or what?” He asked, taking a moment to adjust a pair of black glasses.

Jack paused, debating on making an excuse but rather he manned up and cleared his throat. At least he wished it went as smooth as he planned it. Instead the Irishman broke into a coughing fit and nervously stuttered out what he didn’t want to have said. ”I-uh-hi, yer hot!” On the dot both their cheeks heated up and Mark blinked in surprise. 

”Why-erm, thank you.” Mark tried to remain his calm and well put together composure. ”You look nice as well.” He replied, cheeks flushing a darker red to match his cheeks. 

The stuttering male rubbed his arm and nodded, offering a small smile. Maybe he can save the conversation yet! ”W-well what I really wanted t' tell ye and I thought we could talk some, maybe if ye aren't too busy-”

”Actually, I'd like to chat again.” Mark responded, reaching over towards his jacket. He pulled out a simple cheap bank window pen and ripped a small piece of paper from a notepad. Carefully he wrote down a few digits, holding the paper out for Jack. ”You should give me a call, I'm free on Friday actually. The names Mark by the way.” He stood up, starting to pull his shirt on and grab his things.   
Jack nodded, almost in shock watched the redhead walk past him, sticking his tongue out and flashing a wink. He could hardly hear anyone around him, he was too thrilled and surprised. ”Whoa… I think I'm in fooking love.” He whispered, gripping the paper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'll post one shots more sooon. If you have ideas or requests, comment below. Thanks for reading, I finally updated. Sorry this was short, but thank you for the reads!


	3. I Love Senpai, Yes I Do, he’s for me and Not For You!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our favorite Yandere finds a way to deal with his rival. || Yandereplier AU

The red haired man let out a small giggle, fumbling over the trunk he pulled carefully down his stairs.His parents are never home, what did that leave a boy to do other than kidnap his classmates. “Boy that sounds crazy, when it’s not. All I’m doing is getting rid of the assholes who think they love Jack more than I do!” Mark chuckled, dropping the truck onto the floor.

  
His basement was suited nicely for his plans, floor covered in a clean plastic sheet, a small wooden table supported an assortment of tools. Beside the tools happened to be a large speaker, just something to keep the screams as quiet as they could be. Mark let a hum escape his pursed lips as he flipped open the trunk. Inside lay an orange haired boy, hands and feet bound together, and he was out cold.

  
“Gosh, Osana san, thinking you could have my senpai was so very silly.” Mark mumbled, hoisting the teenager over his shoulder. He carefully set the other down on the sheet and grabbed a clean rag. The incapacitated teenager now lay on the sheet, mouth gagged and unaware of his captors plans.  
The Yandere stepped away, pushing the sleeves of his school uniform up as he picked up a pair of cream white gloves. Carefully he picked up one of the tools laying out of the table tantalizingly, a large circular saw. “I suppose it’s only luck that my step father treasures these dumb tools.” He mumbled, letting out a deep breath. Soon a giggle bubbled up as Mark stood over his rival, quiet music playing in the distance.

  
Almost on cue, the man begun to wake up. His deep ocean colored eyes fluttered open, meeting eyes with the teen standing before him. Panic soon arose, realizing he was completely helpless to what Mark must have planned.

Mark chuckled and started the power tool, meeting eyes with his terrified victim. “Hey, Osana, repeat after me. I love senpai yes I do,” His words were bitter, full of jealousy. “He’s for me,” The yandere begun to press the saw into the man’s arm. Screams came up, muffled behind the tight gag. Before the teen knew it, his arm was completely off. “And not for you.” Mark whispered, taking another deep breath as he pressed the saw back into Osana’s second arm. His song kept a chilling tone as he sawed the limb off.

Each second ticked and lucky for the dying teenager, he bleed to death quickly. At least his death was quick and there wasn’t much pain to endure. Mark continued to cut the man apart, each limb and his head coming clean off his torso. It may have been overkill but it felt so good. Listening to the saw cut clean through the tendons, the muscle, the bone… Felt so amazing. The rush spread through his body like a spark, leaving giggles to bubble up from the bloody boy’s mouth.

Before he knew it, Mark was laughing like a madman on the floor. He ran fingers through his hair, tugging on the bright red locks. It wasn’t long before large tears bubbled up. He couldn’t help how strongly he felt about Jack.. It hurt to think about losing him. The redhead didn’t want to live without him. As long as his heart beat for Jack, he’d continue to live for him. “W-why can’t you love me?” He sniffled, stumbling to his feet.

The rain poured outside as an Irishman stood there, banging on the redhead’s front door. He needed to see Mark. “M-maerk! Open up t’ fooking door!” He screamed, hunching over to lean on the home’s door. A minute passed of nothing before the door swung open. “Maerk?”

A tired, worn down redhead stood in front of him. He was soaked in blood and his cheeks were wet from tears streaming down them. “Y-eah?” Mark asked in a low tone of voice, falling forward onto Jack.

The irishman blinked in surprise and pulled the red haired teen into his arms. “Please Maerk. Don’t scare me like that again…. I love you, remember?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually inspired by an rp I did.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I'll post one shots more soon. If you have ideas or requests, comment below


	4. A Perfect Pair Of Ocean Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark knew what he signed up for when he met Jack. A man with almost perfect hypnotic eyes? He was more than willing to take that on. In return Jack did everything he can to make his lover happy. But lately Mark has been having a string of awful nightmares. || Hypnotic powers AU

Mark let out another loud gasp, sitting up in his sheets. He couldn’t think over his overwhelming fear. His tired, weary body trembled. The bright brown orbs for eyes fought back sob worthy tears while he ran fingers through his messy red and raven colored locks of hair. Needless to say, he was a fear riddled mess at the moment after having another mortifying nightmare.

His roommate was up on his feet and pacing to the redhead’s room within seconds. Sean or known to many others simply as Jack, was head over heels for Mark. He kept his lover treated like a princess and made sure Mark felt like one. When he was in Mark’s room, he gently picked him up and pulled him into his arms. “Shh… I’m here angel.” The Irishman murmured softly, rubbing Mark’s lower back in slow calm circles.

Now Jack had a certain power of sorts… He liked to label it as persuasion. Many humans would call it hypnosis but they didn’t understand his type of power. Normal human hypnosis would either be three things. Weird photo’s of people with swirling colored eyes on art websites by eleven year olds, extremely creepy drawings of cartoon characters giving blowjobs under a “trance”, or it’d be putting people into simple relaxed trances. Jack’s power ran along the lines of the second one. With his eyes, he could persuade almost anyone to do what he wanted and get away with it. Besides, he’s done it before on his lover.

Of course there was rules to these types of things. Jack wasn’t an asshole to his friends and the people he loved. He wasn’t going to just abuse people with his gift. On requests within reason or with Mark’s permission, Jack would help Mark with his powers. Sometimes it was little things such as helping Mark by giving him a small confidence boost during nervous situations or he’d persuade the redhead into cuddling up with him instead of spending hours stressed over something silly. Much like regular hypnosis Jack couldn’t force Mark into something completely against his morals. That wasn’t possible and Jack would never hurt his love in such a way.

When he had a calmer man tangled in his arms, Jack opened his mouth to speak again. “What was it this time Maerk?” He asked in a low voice, the Irish thick in his words. He was more than worried about these recurring nightmares Mark has been waking up in loud sobs over. Not only was it putting Mark’s recording schedule and it was starting to affect the American’s health, it was making Jack worry more and more by each day. Jack didn’t want the other to feel this sadness ever, he wanted him to be his cute giggly self once more.

“I-I had the drowning dream again.” Mark’s words felt stuck in his throat as he tried to explain these life like pictures he’d seen in his sleep. He’s had this dream before but this time it packed more heat than before. It starts the same each time. Mark is tucked up nicely in his comforting bed before he feels himself sink into the sheets. He feels himself slipping further and further away from everything. The only sounds are the distant shouting of his Irish boyfriend, trying to pull him back into safety. His eyelids flutter open to see water all around him. His limbs are numb and Mark’s vision is soon blacking out. Each time he wakes up from this dream, more shaken up than the last. It felt more like a vision of his future rather than a dream at this point.

Jack frowned and chewed on his bottom lip softly as he slowly pulled his love closer. “Hey… Yer okay. I promise.” He spoke up, swaying back and forth with Mark held close to his chest. “Focus on my words… Alright?”

Mark nodded, sneaking a look up at Jack. His eyes remained wide, shoulders shaking in fear.

“Breath in and out with me… It’ll help.” He spoke up, giving an example by breathing in slowly and then back out. Jack offered a small smile as he watched Mark follow his example. “That’s good… Repeat again, hold it a second and let it out.” He gave further instructions.

The redhead listened closely and took a deep breath, counting a second in his head and let it out. Just getting air in helped his tense muscles relax slowly. He peeked back up at his love, melting a bit further into his hold. Jack just had such a relaxing voice and gorgeous set of eyes. They were a perfect sky blue… They were eyes that Mark often found himself getting lost in. 

His thoughts were already fading far away from him as he heard Jack again. “Relax Maerk.. Just keep breathing, in and out.” Mark felt his eyelids beginning to grow more heavy as he followed instruction, gaze still focused on Jack’s eyes. In and out.. Just keep breathing.

“Yer eyelids feel heavy don’t they?” Jack asked gently, constantly rubbing his palm into the redhead’s back in a calm circular motion. He held back a small chuckle as Mark gave him a tired yawn in response. “Just hang on for me… Try to keep them open a little longer and I promise you’ll feel ten times better.”

The redhead nodded in return, trying to keep them open. The longer he fought against the overwhelming relaxing feeling. Soon he fell sound into a deep trance. His mind was blank and open to his lover’s hypnotic suggestions.

Jack waited a little bit, continuing to rub Mark’s back soothingly, whispering sweet nothings and compliments into his ear before he murmured a few suggestions for his lover. “When I awake ye from trance… You’ll find yerself very tired, falling sound asleep peacefully…. Ye might just find yerself sleeping in for hours Maerk, feeling fully rested when yer eyes flutter open.” He paused and pulled Mark closer. “Ye won’t have memory of this session.” Jack smiled gently, pressing a gentle kiss to Mark’s forehead. “All ye will remember is a perfect happy feeling... A feeling that ye’ll have more often, I promise.” With those last words, he snapped Mark awake.

Right on cue, the redhead fell sound asleep in Jack’s arms. Jack soon found himself asleep with Mark pulled up on his chest. The next morning the Irishman woke up to his boyfriend’s adorable giggle. Jack peeked open an eye, pressing a kiss onto Mark’s cheek, “I missed ye love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I admit that hypnosis and some other things are my dirty pleasures. I wanted something Septiplier with hypnosis. I might bring you some more. I will also say that I didn't write this perfectly, I KNOOOOW that. I wrote this late at night and posted it because I can.
> 
> I always take requests or suggestions in the comments below.


	5. What's Your Favorite Scary Movie?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just as Mark is about to have a scary movie fest with a friend, he gets an unexpected phone call.

Friday night and one of the most popular boys in school, Mark Fischbach, was waiting around at home alone. He was so bored that he’s taken the time to count as he tapped his fingers on the worn and weathered coffee table in their living room. Mark has always hated it, as a child he once rammed into it during a game of tag with his brother. It was such a tacky table. Once asking his mother about it, the redhead remembered her rambling on about how it was a gift. Basically, someone gave her a gross table and she didn’t want to turn them down. 

Mark shook his head and reached out, picking up the remote off the table to flick on Netflix. As he was reading through the movie titles, his phone buzzed from a text. “Hm?” He raised a brow, reading over the message. Another typical text from Bob. He opened it and started to text his friend back, standing up from his spot on the couch. Now that he was having a movie night, he might as well make popcorn.  
As he looked for his snack, the redhead started texting.

‘BOB: Hey Mark? What’s up?’

‘MARK: Nothing but being bored as hell’

‘BOB: You home alone tonight?’

‘MARK: Yeah. Thomas bailed on me to hang out with his girlfriend. Mom’s at work and my step dad always works late on Fridays.’

‘BOB: I’m free if you want a buddy.’

‘MARK: Sure. Come over soon.’

‘BOB: I’ll be like thirty minutes. I’ve got to borrow the car otherwise It’ll be a twenty minute walk.’

The redhead let out a soft chuckle and set his phone on the countertop as he remembered where the popcorn was! The top shelf of the cupboard next to the microwave. Mark started to boost himself onto the counter until he was interrupted by the cordless phone ringing on the table. He huffed and climbed down, picking up the phone and then begun to climb again. “Hello?”

“What’s your favorite scary movie?” The voice on the phone asked. It sounded deep and unfamiliar but Mark simply went with it. It was probably just another prank caller.

He took a few moments to answer the question as he picked out a bag of the microwave popcorn. “My favorite?” he asked, holding the phone with his shoulder as he opened the bag. “The original friday the thirteenth. Now, is that all I can help you with today mister?”

The other person on the line was silent for a few moments. “What’s your shirt say? My eyesight isn’t perfect.” They spoke, voice deep into the phone.

Suddenly, Mark tensed. “U-Uh… it’s a reference to portal.” He glanced down at the white tank top he’d had on. The muscular man had just woken up from a nap and simply threw on a tank top and black shorts to lounge around in.

“That’s cute.” The voice offered a soft chuckle. “You’re home alone huh?”

“N-no” Mark replied in a soft tone of voice, starting to pace towards the door. He nervously looked outside and then locked the door. He started to double check if all the windows were locked. “I have a friend over.” He murmured, starting to pace around the home. As he walked, his large puppy followed him throughout the house. Their dog, Chica, loved Mark the most.

“Did you lock me out or in?” The voice spoke up in a slight taunt.

Instantly Mark swung around, looking tense. He hadn’t thought of that! “W-what do you want?” He asked in a soft whisper, slipping back into his kitchen. Slowly he picked the largest butcher knife out of the knife block on the counter.

“I want nothing more than to play a game sweet ass.” He cooed.

Mark swung around, hearing a noise behind him. It was nothing more than Chica sitting down on the kitchen floor. He had to think logically about this… Someone was in his house. “I’m not scared.” he replied, suddenly sprinting towards the front door, Chica running after him.

Before Mark could react, a male in a mask and robe sprinted out with a large knife in his gloved hands. “You lose” He mumbled. Before the redhead could scream, he punched the other hard and Mark felt his vision fading to black.

Gently, the cloaked man picked up Mark in his arms and carried him upstairs. The male set Mark down on his bed, patting his head as put the red haired man in the bed sheets. “All mine…” He murmured.

Slowly he tucked a letter made out of cut of magazines under his arms. As the man pulled up his mask, he couldn’t help but offer an almost psychotic smile as he met eyes with himself in Mark’s mirror. Staring back at him was a large pair of blue eyes. “Sean McLoughlin, you are one insane son of a bitch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boom.


End file.
